PROLOGUE

Until one has walked in another’s shoes, and lived their lives, we cannot know them. Nor should we judge them, instead offer a hand when we can.

It’s odd how two lives can become so entwined that there are times you seem to be living the other person’s life and seeing their memories through their eyes. But it happens, perhaps more often when one of the people concerned becomes the caretaker of the other.

At least it did with Pat and me, during those twenty years that we spent together. Her pain was so palatable, oh I don’t necessarily mean her physical pain, as much as I do her emotional pain. She was my mom, roommate, and during the later years became in some ways my daughter.

I became her confidant, after she got those letters, she was more than a friend with whom I talked to for hours on end, solving the world’s problems over a drink, or laughed long and hard with.

The letters changed everything; they broke something inside of her that could never be repaired. Something that even WWII, my father’s abuse, her financial struggles, or Multiple Sclerosis hadn’t broken.

Many times I just held her as she cried. “Marta, I used to be able to ignore the telephone poles and parking lot, and just see the birds, trees, and beauty of the day, but now I can only see the telephone poles. I always thought we were a happy family. I believed we were together, just like the line from the song. “As long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter at all.” Now I know that was all my illusion, my children didn’t feel that. I don’t know how to unopen my eyes.” She said to me that first day, when she started talking about her past, the funny times, and the heartaches.

As a daughter it is a difficult thing to separate onself, not try to make it better by saying something stupid, but just listen, and pull more out of her. So that she had a chance to regroup, and find a way to heal. I do believe my listening helped. Perhaps, that is wishful thinking, for although she appeared to carry on, there was a sadness that came through, when she didn’t know I was watching.

To be continued.